Teorias + Theories

Culture and Sexism

2006-01-29T20:01:00.000-08:00

Culture affects many aspects of our lives, including our prejudices: racism, sexism, classism.
That is why I'm including this article from Reuters

And the most important trait in a mate is...
By Kamakshi TandonFri Jan 27, 9:42 AM ET When it comes to romance, women prefer someone who tickles their funny bone while men opt for those who catch their eye, according to an international survey released on Wednesday.The survey, conducted in 16 countries by Canadian romance publisher Harlequin Enterprises, asked men and women on six continents about traits they liked or disliked and how they went about trying to meet Mr. or Ms. Right.The poll revealed differences between countries in the way people tried to impress the opposite sex.Australians and British men frequently admitted drinking too much, while about half of German and Italian men said they had lied about their finances. Spaniards were the most likely to use sex to catch someone's attention.Eighty percent of Brazilian and Mexican men said they had lied about their marital or relationship status, as did 70 percent of German women, the survey said.When it came to meeting that special someone, a majority of respondents preferred to rely on friends for introductions. The Internet was not a popular hunting ground except in Portugal, where about half the surveyed men and women opted to find people online.Both Spain and France suffered a gender gap. Thirty percent of Spanish men, but no Spanish women, looked for love online. In France, 40 percent of men but only 10 percent of women attended parties, bars and clubs to meet someone, but they did have one thing in common: both sexes rated looks as more important than their counterparts in other countries.When it came to that first meeting, a majority of men polled said beauty was more important than brains, while women put a sense of humor at the top of their list.Physical attraction was the top priority for men in France, Brazil, Greece, Japan and Britain. And while 40 percent of Portuguese men rated intelligence over looks in a first encounter, no Australian men did so.In the United States and Canada, humor was considered the most important trait by both men and women, getting 63 and 73 percent of the vote respectively.

Sexism is not sexy

2006-01-29T19:50:00.000-08:00

Do not think that I misspelled sexism in my last commentary. Sexism affects our dating life, it even affects what we consider "sexy" has to a lot to do with sexism.

End of "sexysm"

2006-01-29T19:22:00.000-08:00

I have recently found my calling. It was revealed to me after a weekend retreat. The subject was our "calling" and if we are ready to accept, even though we may not feel we are the right person or it is not the right time. I felt that the keynote speaker was inquiring me directly and that most of his arguments were aimed directly at me. He used scenes from movies to make get his point across, movies which happened to be my favorites (Jerry Maguire, Fight Club, Good Will Hunting). I felt overwhelmed by the speech and in the desire to make something out of life.
Then inspiration decided to take a very mysterious effort to reveal itself.
Later on the night, we went out to a bar, got drunk, yada yada yada, I made out with a girl. No big deal, expect for the fact that she is about 6 inches taller than me and in order to kiss her I had to stand on step.
Afterwards, friends of mine started talking about that ordeal, and how uncommon it was for a tall girl to kiss a short guy. They mentioned it goes against all conventions and everything that is normal. Usually the guys are taller, and stronger, and richer. The talk took an interesting direction, as people were discussing why what had happened was mere luck and that it was a fluke, since girls prefer to "feel protected," and that is why they chose taller, stronger and richer. That made us start talking about sexism and why we believe there is what we believe about men, women and gender. As drunk rational people, we tried to find the science in the argument of gender disequality and found out that none of us knew any facts, everything is "conventional wisdom;" it is just a theory.
That got me thinking about the unfairness of the sexism. Prejudice is something that is not often thought of until it affects our lives. Perhaps I never thought about the unfairness of sexism because it never affected me. Men are the winning party here. But seeing that this prejudice was going to interfere with romance, love, and the possibility of kissing this girl again (she was a great kisser) made me think about how unfair it was towards me.
That got me thinking. I decided to do some research.

Since Sexism is a theory I've decided to include it in my blog so it can be discussed, argued, explained. My ultimate goal is that it can be analyzed and understand how much it affects our way of thinking, acting, and living our life, and once all that is done, end it.

That is my calling, helping bring an end to sexism. I admit my motivation started out as something very selfish, but I now realize that this will help me, my peers, my future kids, and any man or woman who are told that they will fail at anything just because of their gender.

The 3 Conversation Rule

2005-07-26T21:01:00.000-07:00

The 3 Conversation Rule

There is too much importance given to First Impressions. Within a few seconds an opinion is supposed to be made of another human being. We are supposed figure out if this person we just met is sane or insane, trusting, faithful, understanding, Christian, Atheist, crazy or safe. We can't base our opinion on the time spent with this person, our judgment must be made in instantly. This is one of the many reasons why our society has become superficial. We must focus on whatever catches our sense of trust: clothes, hair style, smile, the actually brightness of their teeth, being clean, tone of voice, expensive watch, cleavage, etc.
If a person's clothes is up to date, in style, fashionable, then we can consider them reliable, we can trust them, since we can assume that they took the time in the pursuit of researching an always important manual of wisdom; the Consmpolitan.
But can we truly rely on visuals to define a human being? Can a simple hello let us know if that person is good, evil or apathetic? What if, during that brief moment of time, during those short seconds a person is experiencing a bad situation, a bad day, a bad hair, just a spinach or broccoli, a cold or saw an ex lover.
Perhaps we can try to go an extra mile a have brief conversation with the person. Try to shed off some that superfluous superficiality by engaging in verbal interaction. We feel better because we are less shallow since we have given this person a chance to express themselves, although it is a 30 second exchange. Now we can judge, our first impression is based on clothes, hair, height and weight, and, proving that we are not shallow, a conversation.
But why if maybe when you meet that person the brief conversation that takes place is about the weather. Or about shoe strings, or how good a Stars Wars Prequel is. We can think that person is an asshole or an imbecile (Star Wars I, really). One conversation can be crucially incriminating as lip stick on your teeth.
That is the reason I have decided that one conversation is not enough, that three are needed. Three is the Magic Number. Three conversations that take place during three different periods of time. Not three different subjects, but three conversations. For example:
I meet her on the elevator in the morning.
Lovely morning
Yes, lovely. She replies.
Not too hot, not too cold.
I like those days.
And that is the end of that. In this exchange I've established something; she doesn't like hot or cold days.
At lunch I see her again.
Day got hot. She says.
Yes it did.
Now I could pass judgment; she is obsessed with the weather. That is why a third conversation is needed.
I see her next morning.
I brought an umbrella today, she says.
Upon continuing the conversation it turns out she is studying geography. Had I passed judgment on first impression conversation I would have thought she was a wacko who was ambiguous about climate. How wrong would I have been.
That is why three conversations are better for making a first impression. So that we don't pass judgment on a brief moment in time and space. Everybody deserves a chance to express themselves. They can probably talk about different things during three moments in time. If not, they are either obsessed or shallow.
Maybe, just maybe, we shouldn't have first impressions. Maybe we should try to get to know people so we wouldn't be superficial and focus on what really matters in a person: the amount of money they make.

Future Discussions

2005-07-25T23:19:00.000-07:00

These are a few of the following theories that will be explained in the next few months:
1. five step theory
2. the 3 conversation rule
3. the elbow/knee guide of hurt
4. sealed lips of thoughtfullness
5. thoughts vs words vs writing
6. "a pussy, a kitten, a virgin"
7. sleep hall
8. the reason for titles
9. Gay Men = X-men: Evolution, Homosexuality, Economics and Pride. (I'm sure this one will upset just a few)

Welcome, Bienvenidos, Bienvenue

2005-07-25T22:57:00.000-07:00

Bienvenidos sean todos a Teorias + Theories donde trataremos de explorar el entendimiento de la realidad mediante el uso de teorias y racionalizaciones por parte de los seres humanos. O sea, cualquier pendejada que nos deja dormir de noche.

Welcome to Teorias + Theories where we will try to explore human beings use of theories and rationalizations to understand reality. In other words, the bullshit we believe so that we can sleep at night.

Bienvenue Mon Cheri